"You must be used to it by now!" "You make it look so easy!"
This is the most common statement made to me when I tell someone that I've been a FIFO (fly in fly out) workers wife for over 20 years, yes that is a really long time!
In short, the answer to this comment goes something like this. "No it hasn't got any easier."
Is it strange that I still get upset when my husband leaves for his five week swing away? I know that I'm fully responsible for everything that happens in our household. I used to feel extremely daunted by the thought of being the sole caregiver for our two children, whilst still trying to maintain everything else that goes with running a family, home and running my own business from home. It's easy to get caught up in what others expect of you. How you feel that you should be able to handle everything that is thrown your way.
Each stage that our children reach with a FIFO dad has brought about new challenges. When they were babies, the constant need to be available and ready to act was tiring. Being a first time mum and being left with this little bundle of joy scared the pants off me! What if I couldn't handle it on my own? Would I know what to do? Thank goodness for family and Google! Comforting upset or sick babies 24 hours, 7 days a week caused me to crash and burn when my husband did get home. This in turn put strain on our relationship, as I was totally exhausted and just needed time out from everyone and everything.
Once our children reached school age, the going got a little easier, though busier. Running the two of them around to various activities and play dates. Being sure that they were well grounded and not affected by only seeing their father for half the year. How do we know if this is affecting them in a big way, that will rear it's ugly head in years to come? Are we doing the right thing by our family? All these questions would be swirling around in my head. At the end of the day, we all just want what is right for our children and make decisions with this goal in mind.
Did I feel guilty about my husband working hard and away from home? Yes.
Did he feel torn when he had me sobbing on the phone as I complained about not being able to do everything? Yes.
Would we do it all again? Yes, I think we would.
There are so many benefits of being a FIFO wife. I was able to dedicate my time to our children and share experiences with them. We were able to all be together as a family when my husband was home and take mini holidays away to make the most of the time we had together. My husband was 100% committed to us as a family when he was home on leave and give us all the much needed quality time together we all craved.
Finding a business that fits in to our lifestyle has been very rewarding. I have a purpose and passion that I can utilize in my business. Helping people learn about going toxin free for the benefit of their health, well being and financial independence.
FIFO life has taught me to compromise with compassion and willingness. We all have an ideal life in our heads, but what use is that if we create unhappiness along the way. Our bond as a family is strong and we are all there for one another. Finding others to share your life and enjoy it with you is so important. Family and friends are so important and I feel very honored to have such a great tribe around me. We all lift each other up and work as a team.
Create a loving tribe and the rest will fall into place. A FIFO wife is strong, capable and able to ask for help when needed. xx
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